Inside the Current Issue

Sex, Dating, and the Ph.D. Student

Chong J. Wojtkowski

Last year four British universities released their findings with regard to women, marriage and I.Q., revealing something I myself had suspected - a higher I.Q. increases a man's chance of finding a mate, while it decreases a woman's chance of finding one. Put simply, smart men marry dumb women, dumb women marry smarter men - and smart women are left to mope in the library while their lesser-read counterparts run about and snatch up available men.

But who's talking marriage? How about dating? And how about dating - at the GC? Although the times of attending university while hoping to obtain an MA as well as an MRS are hopefully past, the thought of meeting a potential mate during these five years - one who shares academic interests, intellectual vigor and cultural pursuits - is nothing if not appealing. Not to mention how cute "Dr" and "Dr" would look on your wedding invitations. At the GC however, I believe there is a horrifying dating discrepancy and so I begin with a strong, yet painfully true observation: straight girls get last picks here. Kind of like the vending machine on weekends, when all there's left is a package of Mallow Cups and a bag of no frills potato "crisps."

Woefully, as the female foray into graduate studies grows deeper, the dating pool in general becomes shallower and shallower, for several reasons. First off, more women then men attend graduate school (56% vs. 44% according to the GC web site - and this does not break down further disparities such as in liberal arts programs). Secondly, a great many male graduate students are gay, married, or both. Lastly, many GC men do not otherwise appear to be dating material. I confess that the last few times I saw a cute guy wandering around our building, he was either (a) visiting and lost; (b) holding hands with his boyfriend; or (c) was here for some CUNY Honors college function and thereby was 19 years old.

As shallow as my last criterion may sound, please note that I categorize physical attractiveness under two headings: Things You Can Help, and Things You Cannot Help. At this stage in the game, most women realize that height, baldness, and big ears (I have floppy ones myself) fall into the second category, and can be overlooked. However, the first category is a must: clean clothing that can be distinguished from the wearer's pajamas; oft-brushed teeth; a smell that no one would describe as "musty" or "offensive", etc. Add to this simple attributes like punctuality; nice table manners; possession of a corkscrew, etc., and you have what I would consider "attractive." (Bonus points for penguin buffs.)

In defense of straight male doctoral students - who, by the way, can hardly be painted with the same brush - I fully admit that rigorous course loads and work schedules can be restrictive and take a back seat to cultivating "player" status. Bad fluorescent lighting in the library casts a weird glow on skin, and clothes easily wrinkle when their wearer is seated 19 out of 24 hours. Like Chaucer's clerk, he likely spends most of his money on books and research, not gym memberships or a rockin' pad.

However, the scales are painfully tipped here at the GC, where outgoing, stylish and attractive female students seem to be numerous.

Straight men in graduate school have all the luck, which is why they tend to act aloof around their female counterparts. In a mathematically sound situation (60% of us, way less then 40% of them), there is virtually no competition with other men. Get on a treadmill? Nah. Come in contact with a razor this millennium? Why bother? In a roundabout way, these observations indeed support the Brits' findings. In order for refined Graduate Center women to meet their matches, they must search elsewhere than at graduate school.

Chong J. Wojtkowski is a PhD student in the French Program.