Inside the Current Issue

Race Education, One Comeback at a Time

Chong Wojtkowski

In a crowded Roman discotheque, one of the locals approached me, Peroni in hand, and began to play the "What's Your Nationality" guessing game. "Cinese?" "No" I replied. "Giapponese?" he asked. "No!" Having exhausted his list of Asian countries, he said, "pero tù..." and with that, using his finger, pulled the corner of his eyelid to the temple, a cruel imitation of the "Asian eye." Not to be made a fool of, I promptly held up my thumb and index finger, as though demonstrating the length of a peanut shell, and said, "sí, e tu, Italiano!" as I then gestured towards the man's genitals.

As amusing as it was to imply that this asshole had a miniscule dick, reliving it has stimulated anger, and the flow of the pen. The jerking of the eyelid skin at the temple is but one example of the racism against Asians and Asian-Americans prevalent in Western society and culture. Moreover, it is a symptom of the ubiquitous incidences of "social" racism - whereby ignorant people interrogate, mock, or deride people who "appear" to be of another race. Some use race as a springboard for a perfectly banal, thoughtless conversation, perhaps because they continue to feel that everyone who does not have sandy brown hair and light eyes must be from "somewhere else" and therefore wish to talk about it (i.e., "where are you from - no, really, where are you from?"). Although none of my offenders has deposited a flaming cross on my lawn as of yet, I believe we Asians (and everyone else who suffered an incident like this) need to get angry, fitfully angry, to police this type of behavior whenever it occurs. I direct this column towards Asians and bi-racial Asians in particular, who are often singled out and called upon to "answer" for their racial/ethnic/national background and composition. What's more, Western culture's constant nagging about "where are you from?" demonstrates the wish to divide and conquer, as a very subtle warning that you, my silky-haired, almond-eyed beauty, are not like "us."

I am reminded of a passage in Maya Angelou's I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings; during a visit to a white dentist, he tells her and her grandmother that he'd rather operate on a dog than a nigger. In response, Maya's grandmother musters up the most poised, humiliating Shakespearean language and delivers an eloquent diatribe shaming the dentist, striking fear into his heart, and making him aware of his own despicability. The reader feels triumphant at the victory over the loathsome bigot. However, it is clear that Maya's grandmother did not in fact respond this way. In reality, they merely left the office without further ado and went to another dentist; the dentist's racism went unpunished. Not responding to a racial taunt results in a feeling of hurt and powerlessness. One is paralyzed with a cold rage; too shocked to speak, the words don't come to the throat fast enough; the wrongdoer changes the subject - the distance has passed - the racism forgotten, but not by you.

That passage makes me think about the power and courage that victims of racism must assume in order to teach people, one person at a time, that these types of comments and behavior are unacceptable. From now on I propose that all Asians equip themselves with a few key, hostile retorts. Much of the racism I, and many Asians encounter, is not blatant and obvious like that of the white dentist's. For instance, the "race game."

Another name for it is the dreaded, "where are you from"/ "what's your nationality" question. It's not that I am at all ashamed of my background, but the idiocy that follows is often unbearable. I believe these people are playing the game of "making connections," using race as a conversation starter, hinting at that I might not be as "American" as they. Now, I know I may have almond-shaped eyes and dark hair, but why are these somatic features considered acceptable fodder for conversation, when I would never dream of starting a conversation by asking you, "My, you have saggy, pendulous breasts. Where are you from?" Or "you have a one hell of a honking nose! What's your religion?" (See how reprehensible this is?) After all, there must be some reason why Asians get asked where we're from, and not freckle-faced Ted or mousy-brown Suzy? It is one thing to be carrying a tennis racket and then get politely asked if you play tennis. An idiotic question, but fair enough. But most bi-racial people don't wish to "carry a racket" when it is clear from lack of an accent, normal dress, and normal acting, that they are just as American as you, whose ancestors probably, much to your dismay, came here around the same time as mine. So think of another pick-up line, please.

Part two of the Race Game involves the Ignorant Interlocutor making a repulsive comment that demonstrates that he or she considers Asians to be mere curiosities. People immediately assume I will be grateful that you, too, know another Korean-American person. For instance, I remember being asked by the secretary, while signing up to take my GRE exam, what my "nationality" was. (This was after she saw my NY State ID). When I replied, "Korean," the lady said, "Oh! My nephew married an Oriental girl." How is this information of any use or interest to me? Should I have replied, "Why yes, I know her, since of course, all Asians are related and we are all friends"? Or, "And what's your nationality? Oh wait, you're unattractive and obese... must be American." Her callow words still haunt me today, though I am sure she has long forgotten, so unaware she was. Please, for once and for all, we Asians are quite indifferent to the fact that you know other Asians. I know plenty of white people, a lot of them unfortunately, so I don't care. Another moronic comment made towards Asians, especially mixed-race ones, was one I have heard too often: "Oh, you're half-Asian? Was your dad in the military?" I can't think of anything more derogatory than to imply that I am the love child of some Vietnamese me-love-you-long time prostitute and a horny G.I.; besides, what difference does it make how my parents met? To this comment I usually quip, "well at least they didn't meet at a family reunion, like your fucked-up, inbred parents!" but I confess that this is as lame as the comment that inspired it...well, almost.

Finally, a smorgasbord of inappropriate, racist remarks that further demonstrate the underlying antipathy and fear of Asians in society - so much that they must be categorized, classified, and made to feel different. I get asked a lot what my first name means. I find it droll to quip either "blindingly gorgeous" or "warrior-queen." Do most Americans pick out baby names based on adjectival value and meaning? I figured people pick out names they like, or ones that have familial significance. But then I remember how people assume Asians to be mystical, superstitious people whose names reveal dark Oriental secrets. My mother did not climb to the top of Mount Paegam and go on a ginseng fast in order to name me "Waterfalls of Grace." I also detest being called "exotic." I know this word is problematic in academia, for many reasons, but I would like to remind everyone (black and white) who has said this about/to me: Asians make up a quarter of the world's population. We are taking over, almond eyes and all. You, my fair-haired and/or chocolate-skinned friend, are the exotic one.

Lastly, a word to students: when your (Asian) teacher walks into the room, please do not shout, "what's your nationality?" as your first utterance. I often think these people are surprised that I am not a member of the Physics or Mathematics faculty. I can make noo roon ji as bad-ass as anyone in Flushing, but acting surprised that I speak French is insulting: white people are not the only ones allowed to study African art or German language or Cajun cuisine and not have to answer for it.

Basically, some people need a big "fuck you!" when they act this way. I am not advocating this for institutionalized types of racism like that of the job market, political system or our national educational system. There are better, more effective ways of educating people about racial and social issues which I am sure a qualified sociologist could speak to. But as far as the ignoramuses who tell you all Asians look alike; who mock the shape of your eyes or the sound of your first name; who mock your religious attire or how your pronounce your 'r's; these people deserve a big, booming, resonant "Fuck You!" If you are feeling gracious, perhaps (and for their benefit), you may also wish to add an explanation of the behavior they just demonstrated was unacceptable, and why it warranted your response. Hopefully, after hearing the magic words enough times, these people will begin to realize that it is not OK to interrogate Asian people about their "race" or make callous, injurious comments about eating dog or being "exotic."

Think of a new topic.

If, as an Ignorant Interlocutor, you meet an Asian and you are dying to categorize this person, and will simply explode if you don't find out from what Far Eastern nation they or their parents hail, then just wait for them to offer the information - after all, that is the point of social interaction, isn't it? To get to know others and therefore more about oneself?

So: allow me to settle a score: To the fat secretary, the drunken frat boy who asked me if my parents were in the military, and the Roman: fuck you, fuck you, and va fungulo!

Chong Wojtkowski is a Ph.D. student in the French program.