The Advocate

Round One: Marx 0, Starbucks 1

Dan Skinner and Tony Monchinski
The Yankees weren’t the only big losers in the middle of October. In an unparalleled instance of cosmic irony – cosmic chutzpah is more like it – Anthropology Professor David Harvey’s famed Reading Marx’s Capital class was unceremoniously relocated on Monday, October 18th to make room for a convention of Starbucks’ coffee managers. Uncle Karl was presumably rolling over in his British grave as the Graduate Center took one more step to cement its warm and secure embrace of corporate America – as if the ads for gas guzzling Hummers adorning our sidewalk sheds weren’t enough.

Throughout the day, men and women adorned in green aprons occupied a total of sixteen rooms, including the Segal Theater, the Concourse Lobby, the Auditorium and the Skylight Conference Room, reducing the ads outside on the 365 Fifth Avenue façade to mere auger of a larger, seemingly protracted struggle. The editors of The Advocate, after consulting their oracle bones and the entrails of small feral city creatures, believe it too soon to speak up to reveal the next ghastly Graduate Center sell out to corporate America. Nevertheless, be advised that the Graduate Center is now officially in Code Mauve. Go about your daily routines as normal, but please check the stall with the broken door in the men’s bathroom on the second floor of the library daily for security color code upgrades.

Some of Harvey’s students, including all three editors of this newspaper, as well as many of its contributors, sensed something bigger than mere room change was afoot. Restraining themselves, they conducted acts of nonviolent civil disobedience, stealing into the conference and absconding with muffins and coffee. One noticeably coughed during a Starbuck’s big wig speech, possibly hoping to disseminate flu germs in this inoculation-free climate. Meanwhile, the 100 strong students in Harvey’s class had to forego their usual view of the top of the empire state building (and their daydreams of Lord of the Ring’s director Peter Jackson’s forthcoming remake of King Kong) and found themselves cramped in a small, airless basement room while Starbucks managers chortled, stuffed their faces and generally whooped it up in their newfound space of capital. Calls to Graduate Center security went unanswered, as security personnel were too busy checking the color of validation stickers on GC IDs to assist in the removal of the capitalist detritus.

Professor Harvey himself made the best of the situation, teaching his class in what one disgruntled sociology student described as “Guantanamo-like” conditions (okay, we admit that’s embellishing a bit, but you know those disgruntled sociology students). Developing…

Tony Monchinski is a PhD student in the political science department.