The Advocate

What about Vonnegut?

Joe Sabino
This article is about a particularly useful cliché: everything has its pros and its cons.
To illustrate, here’s a for-instance. I go to graduate school in New York City—there should be a million pros to that, right? Au contraire! There’s a nonexistent awesome fitness facility at my school; I have an unaffordable apartment; and other living costs are through the roof when compared to the rest of the country. Now, it seem that my school may let my only means of professional medical advice walk out the front door forever. Yes, there are obviously cons.

However, I also am aware that I can probably transfer to the one of a number of universities, such as the University of Iowa, and find all the faults I mentioned above corrected. But then I would have to face the unavoidable fact that I would be in IOWA. Ouch.

Right, so that’s not really an option. And undoubtedly New York has a great number of benefits. Namely Central Park, museums galore, St. Patrick’s Cathedral, crazy people talking to themselves, pseudo-crazy people talking on their fancy cell phone earpieces, the best Italian style pizza made by Mexicans in the world, the United Nations, delivery services (wink), music, rooftops, and seeing Joan Rivers walking down the street. (Sorry about the sarcasm. Not good. I probably have low self-esteem or something.)

Basically, we have it all, the sights, the sounds, the people—all in a city that seems to ooze charisma. By the way, according to Merriam-Webster the definition of charisma is dynamic appeal or charm (one has to admit that is a pretty charismatic definition).
So, what do we not have that we easily could? I’ll tell you of course, and will do so with no disrespect to the institutions and people that are likely to take offense (yeah, yeah get to it—I know).

I’m talking about one truly amazing, mind blowing guest speaker (dramatic pause) every semester. Yes, I hear that in years past, politicians such as Bill Clinton and Ted Kennedy have graced the floors of the GC. I also hear that the colossal psychologist Albert Bandura (they guy who proved that watching violence on TV facilitates violent acts) even said a few words while picking up an honorary doctorate. And I’m sure other esoteric giants have graced our halls. Hell, I’ll even admit that it’s pretty cool we had Michael Gondry (director of Eternal Sunshine) here this semester. But is he colossal? Non.

Maybe, I’m asking for too much, but then again maybe I’m not.
New York is arguably the capital of the world, and unquestionably the cultural center of America.

John Kerry spoke at NYU in September. And although I know that’s not an impossible accomplishment considering he’s in the middle of a presidential race, he’s still big. And more importantly this is the type of level I’m talking about.
How about a living legend or at least a likely legend say 20 or 30 years postmortem.

WHAT ABOUT KURT VONNEGUT?
Hopefully, you know who he is and if you don’t, please read one of his books. I’ll also provide a list of reasons why we should have him speak at our institution.
Number one, he lives in the city—Turtle Bay from what he writes in his books.
Number two, he’s really old.

Number three, old people die more often then young people and then they’re gone forever.

Number four, Einstein, Bob Marley, and Martin Luther King are no longer available.
Number whatever, someday you and I will die and we can either experience cool things like listening to Vonnegut speak in person now, or not. It doesn’t really matter (watch out I’m feeling stoic), but questions at least don’t hurt.

So to the powers that be, I’ll make you a deal. Instead of giving us 30 to 40 small to middle of the road guests each semester (who, let’s face it, are all way more important than me), give us 1-2 really big speakers and a handful medium sized guys or gals. And in return I will be very much so grateful.

Adios (to god)

Joe Sabino usually doesn't complain so much, but writes with a "it doesn't hurt to ask" attitude. For his sake hopefully it doesn't. He is a student in the Educational Psychology program.